Maurette's Adventures

I stood just outside my dorm door watching my mother walk away. She was on her way to the airport after traveling with me to the States. Sometime in my senior year at Radulphus College I had decided to go to the States to study. My main reason: everybody goes to Holland so I do the opposite. Don't laugh but that is the way I used to make my decisions. I still do sometimes. My way of throwing the dice and seeing where it falls. I closed the door, jumped in bed and watched tv. Not realizing in that moment that I was on my own in a very big land. A place where I didn't know anyone, I didn't know what to do or what to expect. Right then I was reveling in the luxury of having dozens of stations, my own remote control and the freedom to watch what I wanted. Hours later my stomach reminded me that it was time to eat. I turned to ask my mother what we were going to eat ... and that is when I realized that my mother wasn't there. There was no one to make any decisions for me. N...

Seven more days. In a week I will either be undergoing the surgery or about to do the surgery. Tomorrow I am flying out to Curacao to start on this new journey but I have a confession. Right now I am not thinking about that journey and all the changes, I am thinking about it being the last time I hope and prey that I get a new airplane where I don't have to ask for an extension belt. Silly isn't it? I've grown a thick skin by now but even then you still feel the mosquito bite. Seven more days before I start to become outwardly "normal". Seven more days before I start to forget and forgive being labeled as fat from the age of 9. Seven more days before I can think about starting to look in displays and think that maybe I could wear something like that. I was nine when my mother looked at me one day and told me that I was on a diet because my stomach was sticking out too much. That day we were getting ready to go to a birthday party. My tantia's birthday party....

Miss Beyonce always gives me pause. And I truly hope that one day I can sing this song and know that those words are true; that they apply to me. I was here by Beyonce I wanna leave my footprints on the sands of time Know there was something that, and something that I left behind When I leave this world, I'll leave no regrets Leave something to remember, so they won't forget I was here I lived, I loved I was here I did, I've done, everything that I wanted And it was more than I thought it would be I will leave my mark so everyone will know I was here I want to say I lived each day, until I die And know that I meant something in, somebody's life The hearts I have touched, will be the proof that I leave That I made a difference, and this world will see I was here I lived, I loved I was here I did, I've done, everything that I wanted And it was more than I thought it would be I will leave my mark so everyone will know I was here I lived, ...

About 5 years ago after struggling for years I made the trip to Belgium to do a gastric band operation. I remember being so enthusiastic picturing myself walking around feeling happy in my own body. Like the picture I have of myself in my head actually matched reality. That I could go anywhere and not be the big elephant in the room, the one that always left a big impression in the most negative sense of the word. The operation went fine. It wasn't until I woke up feeling all anxious with a very fast beating hard, lying in a room full of other people that I thought I could actually die. Who would know if my heart stopped beating in that room full of people? It wasn't like I was on a monitor or anything. Try as I might I couldn't get my heart to stop racing. But I forgot all that when I went for my first check-up and I was 10 kilos lighter. That happened in only 4 weeks! This is going to be great. Five years later I am heavier than I was. It has been years of pure hell and...

I just spent two weeks in Curacao. Had to go there for work but it is always quite relaxing. So this time was not that different except we got chased by police, nearly made a guy run over an island and exchanged digits from a moving car on the "highway". Not bad right for a couple of days cruising. One night we were on our way to pick up a friend. He was there for a weekend and got a taste of truk'i pan and got seriously hooked. So he would wake me at 11 to take him for his daily fix. There we were going full speed on a nearly deserted road when a guy pulls up next to us at the traffic lights. I look over and there he was watching me. Being polite as I always am I smiled at him. It must have been a really good smile because he kept driving next to us and looking over. Of course I slowed down and let him go because who knows what kind of creep that was. At the next light he indicates that he was turning so I pull up next to him and as his light turned I gave him a little ...

This month, for summer break, the dance school organized an Intense African Month. So now three times a month I am dancing and jumping and most of all sweating but loving every minute of it ... until yesterday. My dance teacher decided we were going to support this celebrity teacher who was here for the next 4 weeks. He has different classes every day and so we will have to dance every day. Well you know I like a challenge so I was there bright and early the next day for an hour of contemporary dance and then zumba. I got to the place and looked around at all the young dancers jumping and bending themselves in self-expressive contortions. I turned to my friend and said No way am I going to make a fool of myself. I will wait for zumba. Turning away, one of the ladies come running after us to tell us that the teacher is waiting for us to join before he begins. Darn! So there I was twisting and turning and trying to remember 4 counts of eight choregraphy. Half hour in the class and I am ...

Last night I went to a bodybuilding contest. Boring! Up until now I had honestly thought that gold was the most boring sport. I saw 30 plus nearly naked men and still I did not have an enjoyable time. Somebody needs to tell these people that to stand out in a crowd you have to be different. Oh. I was going to keep telling you about this sleep inducing contest but I just think I touched on one of my founding pilars. This is what I truly believe and how I act sometimes. Different is not being loud and obnoxious. Different is not dressing different or having a different hair style. Different is not having a differfent life style. Not to me anyway. Different is being yourself. Always being yourself will make you stand out from the crowd. Let your personality shine and you will always be remembered. Those who decide that being different is disrupting the natural order is just looking for attention.

They say everybody has a cross to bear. I know because I got mine. I have been trying to get rid of it for as long as I can remember and I haven't been able to. I try. I really do try but it is like fighting against windmills. You can see them, they look fragile but the current is strong. It has been three weeks and I have been good. Sure, I had a piece of cake but honestly how could that sliver possible result in weight gain. I exercise, I don't eat rice or spaghetti or potatoes. The most I can eat is cornflakes. I got yoghurt coming out of my ears and nose, I spend so much money on fruit. For nothing. Well, I am tired. I give up. I can't do this anymore. My brain is tired, my will is tired, my body is tired. I need help. Alone I can't do it. It is like I am not allowed to do it. This sucks real bad.

Last weekend I went to Puerto Rico. We had this trip booked for monthsd. I believe we booked it in December. The plan was to go shopping. Because as lovely and lively this island is, there is no real shopping possibilities. Now y'all know shopping is like torture for me. I think I could be spending my time reading a book and actually relaxing instead of walking around on hurting feet and looking at things I can't afford anyway. And all that for a small moment of pleasure after which the pain of having wasted money will hit you like a ton of bricks. So there I was living in Plaza las Americas or rather sitting on benches across Plaza las Americas while everyone else went to do there thing. But what I won't forget is our time at Best Buys. I wanted a Kindle. There were actually just a few things on my list. I wanted books, movies and a Kindle. So on we went to Best Buys. After the glorious moment of parting with my money and carrying my Kindle out of the store, we stopped d...

These last days I have been driving all over the place on work business. Usually a very pleasant time as outside is way better than inside as you all will agree... except for yesterday. The day started out real nice. Overcast but still warm. It's never cold here but you understand that I am setting the scene. Anyway so we are driving around checking out Census stickers on the houses, the rain is coming down in sheets but we don't care as we are enjoying a set of oldies but goodies on the radio. Whitney Houston is singing about how children are our future and we are right there along with her. How can we disagree, we are children ourselves. At some point the road starts going up. No problems because this is St. Maarten, there are hills everywhere. I'm sitting in the passenger seat and enjoying myself thoroughly ... I believe the children are out future, teach them well and let them lead the way ... show them all the beauty they possess insiiiiide.. give them a sense of prid...

It is going to be one of those again where I let the thoughts roll without any clue what is going to come out of my fingers. My weekend was pretty non-adventurous. No partying no movies nothing. Although flirting with the movie manager is quite entertaining, I still didn't feel like paying $6,75 for anything that was playing right now so what would be my reason for hanging out at the Megaplex? So which one of you have ever taken a picture of their own noonchie? Well darn. I guess that is what I am talking about today. I tried to do it because I wanted to know what it looks like when someone else is looking at it. Trying is the important word in that sentence since I couldn't get it done. The picture kept coming out black. Now is that because it is really dark down there or was I constantly taking a picture of my black dress? I don't know because after three tries it just felt silly so I stopped. And now besides feeling silly I am wondering if I just lost my mind completel...

I learn something new everyday.Or I should say I learn a new word everyday. The one that I just love is Mele. It actually has a life on its own. You can talk mele, you can pung the mele and you can be melocious. It basically means you are gossiping. If you are melocious, you are being a gossip. Don't you find it a wonderful word to be called? I would take melocious above a gossip any day. It sounds like capricious or vivacious. A fun type of gossiping. Although I'm in St. Maarten so I understand the tendency to be melocious. For example, how can I stop from paying close attention to the story of a family where the son got shot which prompted the other son to take revenge by shooting who he claimed was the shooter. There is a warrant out for his arrest. Now this family was on a night out with a couple. This particular couple was out with the son of the gentleman. You understand that this child was not the son of the woman. His mother was actually in new York on a business trip....

Tuesday was the last day of Carnival. Me and my friend Jun went to watch it. We decided on a spot right on the roundabout before you get to the Carnival Village. Sitting there chatting away we notice a big police truck blocking the road to go up Pondfill. Logical since that is the direction the jump-up was coming from. After a few minutes they were joined by an even bigger tow truck. By now they are blocking like three quarters of the road. All the cars are now riding a little bit on the roundabout to get through. Yes, don't be alarmed I am watching my toes. At some point this small white car comes along and decides that he is going to cut through this police car and the tow truck as he finds that for some reason he really must get on the blocked off road. Now I'm sitting there watching this fool. At first I thought he must have a valid reason to want to go there. Maybe he lives on that road and just wants to get through. I see him rolling down his window to say something to t...

Carnival is always end of April in St. Maarten. People have me believe that once you experience Carnival here, you won't want to miss it ever again. Carnival in Curacao .... naaaaahhh they all exclaim. Too many clothes and boring music. Now, you all know I love my little rock so of course that is not a good way to start with me. I LOVE Carnival time in Curacao. Months of preparation, the music, the parties, jump-ins and all kinds of craziness. All of this right after New year celebrations. Notice how I emphasize the months. This is of course exaggerated as Carnival all depends on Easter. But we always have at least a month. Not in St. Maarten. In St. Maarten it is always end of April and maybe two weeks ... ok three weeks at most. This year, lucky me, got to experience it for 1 week. Actually for one day because for most of it I was in Curacao. So I'll tell you about the things that I got to experience: the jump-ups. The jump-ups. I saw two of them and I will probably keep goi...

It has been so long since my last post I don't even know where to start. So many things have happened that I don't even know what to tackle first. When in doubt jsut start talking. Last night. Yesterday was J's birthday and we went out to dinner with a group of us from work and a few friends. Dinner was bad and uneventful so I won't even bother. After dinner we went to another friends birthdya party. Got to the place up high in the hills and couldn't find a parking space. First of all I had to park my car and jump in with someone else because I know my car would not make it up the hill. Of course I didn't tell him that I was blatantly misusing him but I'm sure he wouldn't mind at all. Right now I'm not sure if he will forgive me the abuse to his car as we had to reverse down the hill and then hike it up by foot. Cursing all the way up with my shoes in my hand. The terrain was not paved and I was wearing these banging high heeled shoes. My feet are a...

It's not that I don't have stories to tell but it is just that I am so busy with organizing the Census that I don't have time to write things down. So bear with me a little bit people ... I'll be back.

When I got to St. Maarten people keep telling me that I am never going to leave. I told them I have been and left so many places I doubt this one will be any different. To illustrate this I highlighted the festivities on the Independence day ... there were none. I said: "You're telling me I'm going to miss ... nothing?" Four months later and I must say St. Maarten has hidden depths. From the parties to the dramas. It is all here. I have been partying every weekend for the last six weeks or so. Last night no exception. It started with dinner at someone's house and ended up in my bed 5.30 am. In between I went to a ghetto hangout where the smell of marihuana hit you as soon as you walked in, a grown-up hangout where the old man lure at you and the "in" place where you can get drugs for the low price of $20. And the drama. Here everyone cheats or is in the process of starting to cheat. Everyone men and women it doesn't matter. They cheat openly. I...

I just walked into the house with a smile on my face. Last week was like living under a black cloud but sometime tonight I realized that I had just forgotten to turn on the light. I get so wrapped up sometimes in expectations and unnecessary drama. I get so wrapped up in a fantasy that I know deep down is never going to come true. And I know that is exactly the reason I do it. Because it is unattainable but in my mind so perfect. Living a fantasy is addictive. I have done it countless times before. It happened in London and it happened here again. Someone or something puts a little seed in my mind and it grows into something unrealistic. Something I know cannot possible happen but is so much safer than spending the evenings alone. That chase, the roller coaster ride, the uncertainty, that anticipation .... it is like a shot of adrenaline. And then you realize that once again, you failed. Once again there was something you couldn't get. How often do I say it: I never get what I ...

I should have studied philosophy. I am a walking dictionary of unanswerable questions. Like the age-old can men and women be good platonic friends? Or the one I am struggling with today. No people it is not one of my why aren't men's chest hollow so that the breasts can fit questions. Although I still think that should be pondered a bit more than the few minutes of laughing it normally gets. Men and women are supposed to fit perfectly right? Well, then make them fit. Like a puzzle. The question of the day is: why are men attracted to obviously wrong women? Ghetto women usually have ghetto boyfriends but I bet you a lot of money that most men secretly want to be with the Miss Ghetto-Fabullous. That's right, fabullous with two l's. I know you are going to tell me that they don't take those girls to meet their mothers ... yes, yes I know but in the meantime it is damn frustrating. Your next argument is going to be that women also like thugs and I agree. Most of them...

I never knew I had a phobia until I opened my door yesterday morning. Saturday found me in a very good mood. I had actually gone to bed at a decent time friday. I still woke up way too early but that was OK. I read a couple of pages of my boring book. That book puts me to sleep every time. It has been a month since I started reading this book which surely is a record. My average reading time is 3 days and that is when I am really busy. I played on the web, downloaded my shows, watched some Dexter, skyped a little bit ... At about midday I decided that a trip to the supermarket was needed. I think I've forgotten what fruit taste like and I could feel it. So I got all dolled up, put on the shoes, grabbed my purse and opened my door and slammed it back in the same motion. Wow, there were about a million dead cockroaches in front of my door. If I knew how to hyperventilate I think that was exactly what I would have been doing. When the exterminator came in the morning to spray the com...

The Human Resources guy is now seriously freaking me out. He called yesterday to tell me to come by to pick up something. He got me something for my birthday. How can I refuse? On the one hand, this is getting in the weird category and on the other hand, what did he get me? Y'all are probably wondering how things got this far. To be honest, I don't know either but I'll try my best to explain. It all started on new year's eve when The sisters went to get their pedicure done. Sitting in the shop enjoying the music my sister L got to talking to the lady and to cut the story short, the lady told her she can make her a copy of the CD. Good, but not really since the CD would not be ready before she had to go back to Curacao. No worries I said, I know someone who goes every week ... the HR guy. So I call him up to ask if he was going. He said No but he probably knows someone who is so that person can take it. All I needed to do was drop it off. He kept talking and I tell him...

Men are sucky idiots.

... because when we make mistakes we make them consciously. I say "we" but I mean "I". Boy what an idiot I used to be. Thought I knew everything only to realize that I am not quite there yet. My birthday weekend was great. I partied from Saturday to very late Sunday. Saturday was the clubbing night and Sunday I enjoyed a nice evening a home with my friends. Perfect. Could I have enjoyed that so much in my 20s. No. Because back then I was too busy with first playing the injured when everyone forgot and later I was too busy coming up with the perfect party for everyone to enjoy except myself. In my 20s I was so busy guarding every wall I had built, that I didn't notice how I was sealing myself inside those same walls. In my 30s I know realize how much energy I spent over-analyzing everything in my 20s to the point where I am just now learning to let go and enjoy. In my 20s I was so busy trying to be perfect that I never learnt to appreciate the brilliance of...

I went to pick up a package at the shipping company. While waiting for my package a couple of guys approach. I would estimate their age in the late 50s early 60s. Says one of them: "Lady, you are just the way I like my woman. The right size." And he proceeds to show me the figure eight with his hands. "That way I can bend you whichever way I want and I know you won't break." Got to love it.

The first question should be: what are you doing up at 4 in the morning? And the second question .... Actually there is no second question. The first one is already insightful enough. I don't know. I have no idea why I'm awake. This is worse than new years night four years ago when I was woken up at 12 by well-wishers and couldn't go back to sleep until after I unburdened myself. I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to those who got caught in that wave. So what has me up at this hour of the night? I still don't know. No unburdening I promise. So have you made your resolutions for this year? I have. For the last few years I have tried to make a resolution regarding work, fun, and me. Contrary to popular beliefs I have actually kept them. This year however I have made only one but I know I should have done more. My one resolution falls in the 'fun' category. You probably guessed that. The ones I didn't make that I know I should have? They are ...

The family is gone. The house is quiet and I am exhausted. I've been hit, slapped, kicked, drooled and pounced on. I just had my first continuous night of sleeping. Work has started again and I need a holiday.