Maurette's Adventures

Last night I was going home after spending a nice evening with family. My cousins stopped by and we had a food and entertainment kind of night. Sitting on the tube minding my own business, a blond chick gets on and sits next to me. I have no problem with that. She is skinny so she is no threat to my space. I prefer the skinny ones as they take up less space and there is more for me. She sits down and falls asleep. Even better I think; no twitching and twisting and sighing and breathing on me. After awhile I really get in my book. At this point only loud noises or sudden stops will get me to glance up. Suddenly I sense movement next to me. This is not unusual but the movement is of the kind that seems to scream: back away, I am about to loose my dinner. Yes y'all ... it is the classic "I am about to heave" movement. My eyes see this but my mind refuses to believe this. I stare ahead focusing on what is happening on my right. There is the movement again! I turn around and l...

... to do anything about it. I know the Strictly Platonic is supposed to be my next bug thing but I am having too much fun reading this stuff. Let me share a few more with you. On a side note, I didn't get to see Bradley Cooper yesterday. I need to be more vigilant about these premieres. Apparently they give away tickets to the red carpet area around lunch time. Next time I need to get a ticket. Oooh Brad! He is sooooo yummy! Anyway, here is a good plato called "I'm looking for a boss" I'm straight, in my late 40s and fed up with my job. I'm in a respectable middle management position and have lots of transferable skills and knowledge. I'd like a change of career and willing to consider ABSOLUTELY anything. I'm sure you know where this is leading... Anyway, is there anybody out there in a responsible enough position to be able to offer me a job for a trial period (I'll even work for free) or, failing that, let me know of any vacancie...

Walking around Covent Garden is always an adventure. With all the tourists blocking your path while you are trying to get to the tube or whatever destination. Why do tourists just stop in the middle of the street and start looking around and pointing? How about scooping to the side and let normal people walk peacefully? Why do people always insist on walking side by side? So you think because there are three of you and only one of me that I will step aside? Not! There I was on my way back to work from a lunch I think, when my companion grabbed my arm and said: there is a celebrity! I look around and see nothing. She said There, there. Me looking bewildered and he now looking a bit scared. She said Trust me he is a celebrity. So I stood obediently taking the picture. Here he is. I'm still not quite sure who he is but I got it from other sources that he is in fact a celebrity. Meet Mr. Paul Barber.

Not sure how many of you are like me but in some basic things I operate on a need basis and not a want basis. Like shoes. I used to be a shoes and bags person until I came to Europe and half sizes are non-existent and everyone has narrow feet. Now I only have shoes I need. Not a big problem normally but when you are walking on sandals that are comfortable and not subject to the evil cobblestones of London but are also held together by superglue, it's time to do something. Yesterday I went out to get me some other comfortable shoes and looking around I decided I wanted shoes that I want and shoes that I need. There is a fundamental difference there. One that I will try to explain. See, shoes you need are sedate shoes. Probably or hopefully not boring but they are not Sarah Jessica Palmer I am hot shoes. They are need-shoes probably in neutral colours brown and black. Maybe you went crazy and you have a grey one in there. Shoes you want are the complete opposite. These are the shoes ...

Something that has been on my list and could quite be the riskiest one yet is the Strictly Platonic Ads. I know at least one of you is now thinking about Casual Encounters but I won't be doing that. Let's just say I am way too conservative for that. But I could probably answer a strictly platonic ad. It's harmless right? And in the middle of the day amidst plenty of people ... what could possibly go wrong? From now on I will be scanning the ads to see if there is any one of them that catches my eye. Of course I am obliged to share with you my journey so here goes: Example 1: "m 32 had my plans cancelled tonight and looking to take a nice fun outgoing girl to the movies. it will be my treat, and maybe if we get along can do dinner and who knows what after lets have fun. nothing worse then going to the movies alone. any size age race welcome, also do send a pic thanks" Question: Why send the pic? Is it maybe more about the "who knows what after" part th...

Reading is my passion. I live and breathe books. As a result my house is full of books. In fact my biggest worry about moving away from London was how to get my books back. Forget how to find a job, where to live, and other mundane stuff ... my books. Amazon and me are best buddies. There was a time when I went to library every week but when I started to struggle to find books I wanted to read - I had caught up with the speed in which they got new books - I started to buy books from Amazon. I am even a prime member which means I get my orders the next day. Most of these orders I send to the office just in case they are too big and don't fit through the mail slot. One day I ordered some books on Friday so I had them sent home. It was a typical Saturday morning. So I stayed in bed until my stomach told me to get out, my hair was a mess, I hadn't seen the inside of the bath tub yet when there was a knock on the door. My books! I opened the door expecting the elderly post man only ...

The next big thing on my list is participate in a flash mob. I'm sure you have seen the T-mobile ad with the flash mob? Here it is in case you don't know what I am talking about: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQ3d3KigPQM or maybe try this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkBepgH00GM&feature=related That is what I want to do. I want to be in a flash mob. It looks like soooo much fun. Of course first thing I do, like everyone does, I google flash mob. Did you know there are multiple sites out there that post all these events. I don't know why I am surprises really. There are sites out there for everything. Where to start? I figured I should have a few rules. So no nudity, no long travel, and nothing illegal. I do remember that episode in CSI where there was a flash mob and it turned out it was to cover up a murder. I think a crowd of people turned up on a golf course and threw balls. Come to think about that now, it wasn't that exciting. And of course rule number ...

You already know about me and public transportation. The things I see and experience. I could probably write a book about that. What happened to me today is a first. There I was sitting at the bust stop. I was unusually late, although if I look at the past two weeks I was unusually early. This sweet old man walks up. Old as in retired but not old as in needing a walker. He has grocery bags in his hand so I assumed he was going shopping. He sat down next to me and said Good morning. Well, as you know people don't say good morning so I gave him my big smile and said Hi! I guess that was the sign. He: "I sure am happy with this weather today. Nice and cold." Me: " Oh no. I'm not happy" He: "I prefer the cold. We are both a bit heavy so you'll understand. I find it hard to breathe when it is too hot." Me: "I understand but I prefer hot weather." He chuckles and I smile back. We sat looking at the children walk by for a few seconds. I star...

I did it. I just came back from a speeddating event. Girl number 3. Let me tell you about my night. I got to the place about 7. Walked in and felt so uncomfortable. There were some people scattered around the place, all just looking around or sitting at the bar. I walk to the lady to register myself. With my note card and name badge I look around. Am I expected to go sit with the others? Should I go to the bar? To be honest, I don't want to do any of those things so I go sit by myself. Obviously I haven't thought it through because now I am sitting in the middle of the place all by myself, of course everyone is looking at me now. Y'all know that by now I am fighting the urge to get my book out and start reading. Rest assured I don't do that. Instead I take my BB and talk about the guy sitting there wearing a leather (more like pleather) suit jacket. After a few minutes I see the pleather guy go sit at my table so I know that avenue is closed. So I decide to go to the ba...

There are more than 6 billion people in this world and still it is so easy to be alone. To feel alone in a large ocean threatening to drown you while you are drifting along on your lifeboat. Six billion people. How big is the chance that one of them is thinking about you at any given second. Any of these people, anyone of them. How ironic that some people get too much and some get none. The world is round but on the surface there are so many peaks and holes. Lucky the one that happens to be the hole. Although is that a bad thing. Is it so awful to be one of those dark spaces? They are needed right? In the big circle of life doesn't every cell have their purpose? Life starts off with parents. People who are biologically wired to love you. They have no choice; it is in their genes. So you start life being loved. You are a peak. Then there are those who don't have that luxury. You are a crevice. I would like to think that at some point that all levels out. It all balances out in...

It's time to introduce you to another one of my friends. We'll call her Nail Polish. No need to explain that - she likes nail polish. At first I didn't know what to think of her. Here is a person so totally my opposite. She likes girly stuff, I think it is a waste of my time. She watches the Hills, I am into crime. She reads text messages, I read books. But despite all of those things, we actually get along marvelously. Besides none of my other friends tell me about their poo in as much detail. How can we not be friends? So let me tell you a few stories about Nail Polish. One day her dad came to visit. It was a hot summer day where he was roaming the streets of London waiting for his daughter to finish work. All he asked from her, was some refreshment: a coke and salt. Yes, that is right. A coke and salt. I would be surprised as well except I also know she likes to eat butter, cheese and jam sandwiches. The strangest combination to me but perfectly normal in the Polish fami...

I just signed up for an event. July 13 is the big day. I, Maurette , am going to a speed dating event. By myself. My gosh, the nerves are now starting. I thought I was going to be worried about going there by myself (looser!) and the idea of sitting behind a conveyor belt of guys parading in front of me but funnily I am more worried about not getting anyone that wants to go out on a date with me. Here comes the insecurities again. Some days I think I am over that crap but here goes to show that I am not. Being in a meat testing event doesn't face me, no one forced anyone to go so why should I be embarrassed for them. Being seen as the sorry female who apparently can't seem to get anyone interested in them the normal way? Also not a problem, look around I am not the only one. Besides I know now the London is a very big overcrowded lonely city. Not getting a Yes tick at the end of the night, now that is a diarrhea inducing thought. Think of the statistics! I will assume there wi...

I added a new item to the list. Take pictures with 10 celebrities. Celebrity 10: Las t Friday we went to Jamie's new restaurant in Covent Garden. Standing there looking at the menu, I saw Gennaro. I've seen him on Saturday Kitchen before and remembered him because he said he didn't cook with olive oil; he only uses it for salads because it burns faster. Or so I remembered. After a lot of whispering I finally decided to approach him. So I asked him if he was the chef on Saturday Kitchen and if he was the one who doesn't cook with olive oil. He said No! I think that chef should be shot. I'm Italian and all Italians cook with olive oil, he says. He spoke with us for awhile and then moved on. Sitting there waiting for our food is when I added this item to my list. Gennaro is my first. After a very nice meal, we walk out of the restaurant and who do we spot? Louie Spence from Pineapple Dance Studio. Everyone loves him. He is just the most entertaining person to watch. Wo...

... except when they moan. I'm not talking sexual, I am talking about the pervert we saw and heard in the cinema yesterday. There we were enjoying the movie, when we start hearing very loud farts and burps. Turning around and this guy is sitting by himself watching a romantic comedy. He looks unkempt and was moving and twitching around like he had ants in his pants. Watching him and listening to all the natural noised coming out of him, we started to feel really antsy ourselves. So we got up and walked by him, people still trying to kill each other on the screen behind us. I cannot swear to this but his pants could have been down on the floor. I don't know what his problem was, but when the movie finished we waited until everyone left to see if he would leave as well. We left him in there.