Maurette's Adventures

I thought it is time to give you an update on my List. Actually it is not like I just decided to do that but something actually happened today. Remember the flash mob I spoke about before? Well, I managed to get two friends to go with me. The weekend started out quite hectic. I cleaned the flat, did some last minute errands, hang out with the girls and watched Inception. In between all of that of course I didn't manage to learn my steps. But not to worry I was going to get there early enough to learn the steps. I set of in the morning to get my hair done and then get myself over to South Bank Centre. In the train I checked my messages and this is the message I got from one of the girls I was about to meet up with: "Um...I just looked at that website again ...um, it was dated last year! Lol. Last year aug 30th was a Sunday...today is the 29th" Good thing I didn't spend my time learning those dance steps.

The Amazon Delivery guy. 'Nuf said.

Yesterday was my leaving do. Apparently such a thing is expected so I decided that of course it had to go with a bang. This is how the night went: After the "Last Thursday of the Month" drinks at work, we moved next door. We had a few drinks and I laughed so much that my cheeks were hurting. At about 9 we went to Lucky Voice for some karaoke. From the first song, Bohemian Rhapsody, to the last song, Born in the USA I sang. Some will probably describe it as screaming and yelling but the more refined will recognize it as singing. I invited people under my umbrella -ella -ella -ella to shield from the raining men while asking them to put a ring on it if they liked it. It was fantastic! We had a few reluctant participants and I won't name any names but everyone and I mean everyone was singing. Now what happened to the: I don't do karaoke????? I saw Florian singing La Bamba. When they kicked us out at about 11.45 we proceeded to Little Italy because if you are having a lea...

Yesterday I went to a live drawing class. we got there first and helped the teacher set up, then we sat down to watch the others arrive. Boy, when people got in and started to put their own pencils and paint books around them I felt really dumb with my pack of rolled up A2 paper I borrowed from work and my blunt pencil. Class starts and the model enters the center. We got ourselves a male model. Not hot at all but I was quite surprised until he took of his shorts. I thought, boy, I know I haven't seen a lot of them before but where is it? Where his manhood is supposed to be, there was a knob. Out of the corners of my eye I saw my friend turn to me but I knew I couldn't look at her because we would both start laughing. We won't be the first one to laugh at him, I am sure, but we're grown ups. It's just not done. Besides no one else seemed to have a problem with the lack of male genitalia. You know I am now wondering all kinds of things. Like when you go down at this ...

Just saw the movie Why did I get married too? and this is what I learnt: 1. having a circle of good friends is wonderful 2. the movie is funny 3. everyone cheats 4. even women cheat 5. one way to settle a divorce dispute is to drive the other insane 6. it is fun to smash everything in the house 7. The Rock is hot

Last time I promised you a funny story but I didn't know that I would actually have one so soon. I thought I was going to have to dig deep for a long-forgotten story or I might have to pay attention on the tube instead of reading my book or just have to let my mind wander and write down my random thoughts. Those of you who have had the luxury of getting me when I start speaking what I think now that it might be a dangerous thing to do. Some people call these trips Maurettenisms. But relax! That is not going to happen today. Let me tell y'all what happened to me today. Nail Polish and I went out at lunchtime. The plan was to go try on some jeans, buy a salad and be back at work in half an hour. Walking towards MnS to get the salad, we're walking talking as you do when I tripped suddenly on the cobblestone roads in London. I grabbed Nail Polish to steady myself. My heart skipped a beat and I looked down accusingly. Stupid stone roads obviously designed by men as women would n...

... I've already closed the door. Sometimes I wonder what could possibly be wrong with me. Just tonight we were talking about how picky I am and how I shut down potentials before they can even start their game. Walking home tonight this guy starts talking to me. He wasn't even bad-looking. But when he asked for my number I shut him down. I didn't want to know. I didn't want the burden. Now I ask myself why? Why did I do that? I have no reason whatsoever. He was nicely dressed, he was respectful, he didn't even make a fuzz when I declined. I know I am lying when I say that I did it because he asked me where I lived before introducing himself or asking for my name/number. But it wasn't. I just knew I didn't want him. The next post is going to be a fun one. With all these self reflecting posts I am making myself depressed.

This song is special to me. To the one who alerted me to the song: Thank you for understanding, you have no idea how my heart skipped. Song: I'm beautiful Singer: Aloe Blacc Sometimes people say things that they don't really mean. They just might call you names to lift their self esteem. But soon enough, they'll realize that it'll never work. Because inside they're trying to hide how much they really hurt. But as long as you know who you are and what you're about Nothing they say can shake your pride and make you doubt The beauty you have in you and when they give attitude you can tell them like this. Say, I'm beautiful and spiritual and I think it's about time to tell you this. I'm gonna be the best me that I know how to be. One day you learn how much it means to believe in yourself. So take these words and share these words to help somebody else. You never know. Anything's possible. You just might make a friend. So when they try to make you cry...

I don't know how many times I have said that. Every day, every Monday, every time I mess up and look in the mirror. This time I wish it to be different. This time I want it to be different. It needs to be different. For some reason it feels different. Today was hard, I sat here with a grumbling stomach. I was trying to think of what to eat. If I had chocolate in the house, I probably would have eaten it. If I had anything in this house I would have eaten it. So if I am honest with myself, it wasn't entirely up to me that I stuck with it. Thank God I am so rubbish at buying groceries. Who knew that would save me. Tomorrow is a different day and I will do it again. and the day after, and the week after I need to do it again. Somewhere I will find the strength. I can't talk about this struggle today. I don't have it in me, but believe me when I say that this is my cross. This is the cross I have been wanting to cast aside for as many years as I can remember. It is not even...

Y'all remember my marriage proposal. The nice Irish lad who wanted me to be his wife. Well, I saw him again today. On my way to Watford to do some shopping, he walks by and says Hi! Good morning! I smile back and return the greeting. As I am turning to look at him, a lady walks by and also says Good morning. So I return her greeting. By the time I turn back they are both walking down the street. I'm a bit baffled but soon the mystery is solved when they sit down on the bench next to each other. Of course, he is not talking to me because now his lady is with him! I have a distinct feeling that I have been cheated on. After all of that, he sits down next to me on the bus and still no word. We get off at the same stop and still no word. Gosh, this hurt. Bumped for another. I had high hopes for him.

Does he really exist? The romantic side of me would like to believe so. When I was younger I used to think that God was all wrong in how he made us human. In romance novels they always say how the two fit so well together. "I slid into his arms and it felt like I finally arrived home. Our bodies fit so well together." If this is true, surely it is physically impossible. For two pieces to fit, they must be mirror images of each other, like puzzle pieces. If God truly meant for every woman to have their Adam, he should have made men different. Wouldn't it just be perfect if men had holes in their chest in which a woman's breasts could fit seamlessly? It would be the one way to find they One and Only. Do my breasts fit? No, well then I can only have fun with you but eventually I need to move on. Yes, well then welcome, what took you so long? Pure magic. But that is not how it works. I would still like to believe that there is one person better suited than everyone else f...

As I walked home in my socks with aching heels, people were passing me and tooting their horns. I've never caused a traffic jam before but today I came close. But with all of that I could care less because I was getting home freshly tattood. I love it! I can't wait to show it off. As if people are dying to see my feet, but I don't care ...

This is the text I received yesterday: "hi sorry to bother you its andrew the frendly ikea delivery guy i hope you dont mind me texing u just thought id say hi and that t was nice meeting u, i would really like to see u again and have that coffee i finish work around 5pm most days, i know u said just pop around when ever but i would rather u tell me when its more convenient for u tex me when ever but if u call i may not be able to answer, hope to hear from u soon. x" The lesson learnt here: Maurette, stop talking to people. One of them will think you are actually serious. Especially if they know where you live.