Maurette's Adventures

I stood just outside my dorm door watching my mother walk away. She was on her way to the airport after traveling with me to the States. Sometime in my senior year at Radulphus College I had decided to go to the States to study. My main reason: everybody goes to Holland so I do the opposite. Don't laugh but that is the way I used to make my decisions. I still do sometimes. My way of throwing the dice and seeing where it falls. I closed the door, jumped in bed and watched tv. Not realizing in that moment that I was on my own in a very big land. A place where I didn't know anyone, I didn't know what to do or what to expect. Right then I was reveling in the luxury of having dozens of stations, my own remote control and the freedom to watch what I wanted. Hours later my stomach reminded me that it was time to eat. I turned to ask my mother what we were going to eat ... and that is when I realized that my mother wasn't there. There was no one to make any decisions for me. N...

Seven more days. In a week I will either be undergoing the surgery or about to do the surgery. Tomorrow I am flying out to Curacao to start on this new journey but I have a confession. Right now I am not thinking about that journey and all the changes, I am thinking about it being the last time I hope and prey that I get a new airplane where I don't have to ask for an extension belt. Silly isn't it? I've grown a thick skin by now but even then you still feel the mosquito bite. Seven more days before I start to become outwardly "normal". Seven more days before I start to forget and forgive being labeled as fat from the age of 9. Seven more days before I can think about starting to look in displays and think that maybe I could wear something like that. I was nine when my mother looked at me one day and told me that I was on a diet because my stomach was sticking out too much. That day we were getting ready to go to a birthday party. My tantia's birthday party....

Miss Beyonce always gives me pause. And I truly hope that one day I can sing this song and know that those words are true; that they apply to me. I was here by Beyonce I wanna leave my footprints on the sands of time Know there was something that, and something that I left behind When I leave this world, I'll leave no regrets Leave something to remember, so they won't forget I was here I lived, I loved I was here I did, I've done, everything that I wanted And it was more than I thought it would be I will leave my mark so everyone will know I was here I want to say I lived each day, until I die And know that I meant something in, somebody's life The hearts I have touched, will be the proof that I leave That I made a difference, and this world will see I was here I lived, I loved I was here I did, I've done, everything that I wanted And it was more than I thought it would be I will leave my mark so everyone will know I was here I lived, ...

About 5 years ago after struggling for years I made the trip to Belgium to do a gastric band operation. I remember being so enthusiastic picturing myself walking around feeling happy in my own body. Like the picture I have of myself in my head actually matched reality. That I could go anywhere and not be the big elephant in the room, the one that always left a big impression in the most negative sense of the word. The operation went fine. It wasn't until I woke up feeling all anxious with a very fast beating hard, lying in a room full of other people that I thought I could actually die. Who would know if my heart stopped beating in that room full of people? It wasn't like I was on a monitor or anything. Try as I might I couldn't get my heart to stop racing. But I forgot all that when I went for my first check-up and I was 10 kilos lighter. That happened in only 4 weeks! This is going to be great. Five years later I am heavier than I was. It has been years of pure hell and...

I just spent two weeks in Curacao. Had to go there for work but it is always quite relaxing. So this time was not that different except we got chased by police, nearly made a guy run over an island and exchanged digits from a moving car on the "highway". Not bad right for a couple of days cruising. One night we were on our way to pick up a friend. He was there for a weekend and got a taste of truk'i pan and got seriously hooked. So he would wake me at 11 to take him for his daily fix. There we were going full speed on a nearly deserted road when a guy pulls up next to us at the traffic lights. I look over and there he was watching me. Being polite as I always am I smiled at him. It must have been a really good smile because he kept driving next to us and looking over. Of course I slowed down and let him go because who knows what kind of creep that was. At the next light he indicates that he was turning so I pull up next to him and as his light turned I gave him a little ...