The 5Bs: Big, Black, Bald, Beautiful, and Banked

Back in college I used to say that I wanted a guy who could give me the 5 Bs. I would settle for 3 Bs but ideally the perfect man needed to have 5Bs. All of these actually started after we saw Tyson Beckford in his first TV commercial so I have a feeling I might be a bit biased.
Big, Black, Bald, Beautiful, and Banked. No need to explain all of those.
After awhile I grew up a bit and decided that this guy needed to have a character as well otherwise I can just stick him in a glass cupboard, put a spotlight on him and just look at him. But what would happen when I take him out and I want to play a bit? After careful considerations and long discussions I thought that this perfect man needed to wash my hair.
I know you are all staring at the screen right now shocked, mouths hanging open and heads shaking but think about it, ladies. I know the men are never going to get this but keep reading in case you even need to do something nice for you lady. Just think about the intimacy of washing your hair. Someone to shampoo your hair and massage your scalp. Strong fingers just creating ripples of pleasure from head to toe. Then conditioning and brushing. Gentle brushing. Rinsing the water out of your head. Oh. I'm sorry give me a moment while I catch my breath.

I'm back. So there is a reason I am telling you this story. Tonight I got the proposal I have been waiting for. Carlos the front desk guy offered to wash my hair for me. The proposal of a life time and I turned it down. I thought I had moved on from the 5Bs but apparently it is the combination of all those Bs and the washing that does it.

Any man who has continued to read up to this point I have something to tell you all. Something I have been accused of doing or rather not doing tonight. I have been told that I needed to learn to ask for help. My view on that is this: if you see me struggling with grocery bags, don't ask me if I need help, help me. Why do I need to ask? What is wrong with your eyes? Take charge! Be a man and stop waiting for permission. Waiting for me to ask you is just a lousy excuse to do jack s**t.

Comments

  1. JordanSeptember 23, 2010 at 8:02 AM

    ha ha ha and ha - mate this is truely you on a page. it made me giggle, smile and a little shocked at the same time. you also made me think. I did have a guy once who was a few of the B's he did wash my hair once and you know what i still left him....find someone who can make you smile, cuddle you if you need it and also knows when to help!

    Men aren't perfect but neither are we (well i might be!).

    x

    ReplyDelete
  2. suriOctober 12, 2010 at 4:32 AM

    hahha this is a classic!!

    I've never had a guy wash my hair though... it sounds a bit weird but I feel left out now so might have to persuade my other half to do it. Although I can't imagine it to be good given that he practically pulls my hair out just to get it in a bobble!

    I don't think hair washing is for all men!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Alone in the Office ...

Sitting alone in the office makes my mind wander. Maybe I have an active imagination, maybe have read too many books, maybe I have watched too much internet entertainment. I'm here working late, got to be ready for the holidays, right? Everyone has already gone home, Christmas shopping or just out having fun. Me? I am here enjoying some Ne-Yo ... One in a miiilllion parapapa. That boy is good. Even my Miss Independent self got to admit that he does make me go ooooohhh haaaaaa. Sitting alone in the office makes my mind wander. I start to think about hunky cleaners coming in after hours or an IT geek working long hours not realizing there is another person in the building. He makes himself comfortable .... really comfortable. See the air-conditioning can get very cold if you have been sitting in it for hours. I can understand that one might turn it off ... and then it gets to be sweltering hot. If you are wearing a suit and tie, you get hot. Really hot. Oh! Don't you know it .....
Read more

Listening to a Dialtone

The phone rang right in the middle of Glee. I jumped out of my chair and grabbed the receiver. There is a leak in the roof and they were going to try to fix it. I thought it was the builder telling me they couldn't fix it. Why would someone call when i am watching them perform New York? I snatch the phone and curtly say: "Hello?" Nothing... then a dialtone. I look at the receiver as if it was a person and scowl. Then I smile a little as jsut yesterday I had a conversation with Carlos about him calling and hanging up before I can answer the phone. According to him he lets the phone ring a million times before he hangs up and I say it rings maximum of three times. So now I am thinking that it is him "teaching" me a lesson. I call him back. The phone rings and no answer. Now I am mad. I can't believe I am missing Glee for this. I pledge revenge, hang up and make myself comfortable once again. Twenty minutes later, the phone rings again. Now, I will teach this...
Read more

Celebrity spotter 10, 9,...

Image
I added a new item to the list. Take pictures with 10 celebrities. Celebrity 10: Las t Friday we went to Jamie's new restaurant in Covent Garden. Standing there looking at the menu, I saw Gennaro. I've seen him on Saturday Kitchen before and remembered him because he said he didn't cook with olive oil; he only uses it for salads because it burns faster. Or so I remembered. After a lot of whispering I finally decided to approach him. So I asked him if he was the chef on Saturday Kitchen and if he was the one who doesn't cook with olive oil. He said No! I think that chef should be shot. I'm Italian and all Italians cook with olive oil, he says. He spoke with us for awhile and then moved on. Sitting there waiting for our food is when I added this item to my list. Gennaro is my first. After a very nice meal, we walk out of the restaurant and who do we spot? Louie Spence from Pineapple Dance Studio. Everyone loves him. He is just the most entertaining person to watch. Wo...
Read more