Maurette's Adventures

Have you ever looked at just one car and know that it should be renamed to you? Have you ever walked into a house and now that you are home? Have you ever had one of your wishes answered without you expecting it? Some days are good and some days are perfect. I got a car, a home, and one-on-one drawing classes all today. To the powers that be ... Thank you! If I wasn't watching Bones right now I probably could write a poem just to capture this day. Maybe later ....

Man: "Oh how I wish I could be a charm right now." Me: "What?" Man: "A charm, like you have on your necklace." I look down and see my charms nestled between my breasts. Now what do you say to that?

We all saw the movie, Indecent Proposal. We saw the good and the bad. Lots of women probably wanted to be Demi Moore. I remember liking the bag that she had. I've been looking for something like that ever since but no luck as yet. Anyway, back to the movie ... when it just came out, with all my childish dreams, I thought she was crazy for accepting that offer. See what it got her. Was it really worth it? Fast forward to now. Change it to $20 million and then ask the question: you are married and someone says hot sex for one month and I give you $20 million. What would you do? Last night I had this same discussion. For most of the conversation I played devil's advocate. He said, sure do it! If my wife told me about this, I would say go ahead! He said he would talk to he guy and ask for the money first because now way he was going to risk him sending back his wife before the time was done and loose out on that money. And then he would warn his wife to not behave as she did at h...

The phone rang right in the middle of Glee. I jumped out of my chair and grabbed the receiver. There is a leak in the roof and they were going to try to fix it. I thought it was the builder telling me they couldn't fix it. Why would someone call when i am watching them perform New York? I snatch the phone and curtly say: "Hello?" Nothing... then a dialtone. I look at the receiver as if it was a person and scowl. Then I smile a little as jsut yesterday I had a conversation with Carlos about him calling and hanging up before I can answer the phone. According to him he lets the phone ring a million times before he hangs up and I say it rings maximum of three times. So now I am thinking that it is him "teaching" me a lesson. I call him back. The phone rings and no answer. Now I am mad. I can't believe I am missing Glee for this. I pledge revenge, hang up and make myself comfortable once again. Twenty minutes later, the phone rings again. Now, I will teach this...

I don't know what is going to be the end result of this post. I decided to sit down and just start writing so I don't know what is going to come out. It is a dangerous approach because sometimes it is scary what goes on in my head but you are reading this blog so I guess nothing can surprise you anymore. The curtains are open so I can see the dance of the lightning playing across the skies and I am sitting here thinking about going out on the balcony. I have been wanting to go stand in the rain and pretend I was 6 years old. I think people forget to have fun sometimes. Remember when it was fun to play in the rain, build castles in the mud? Then I started thinking about what would happen if I went out there and got struck by lightning. And that is where I stopped since thinking about getting super human power would be taking it too far. How stupid is that? Sitting here spinning stories in my head. Because I lied a little bit I did actually think about getting super human powers ...

Today was the first day of work. It's a small office so I am certain I will have loads to talk about in the future. Well as soon as I start understanding what they are saying. The St Maarten accent is a bit hard to follow. I catch a few words and my active imagination fills in the rest. So we have Charles. Charles is the acting head of the department who today had to make an executive decision to close the office tomorrow afternoon. Which he did after Jacky told him how the place was going to be deserted as all the other offices will be closed. As she painted the scenario, it was going to be just me and her in the office when some nutcase would walk in and tie us both done and rape us. Surely he didn't want that on his conscience. At which point I felt inclined to agree that I wasn't looking forward to being raped so it might be a good idea to listen to her. In my little corner there is also Jahaira. She is the assistant researcher that I will be working closely with. She i...

It was getting to 5 o'clock and I was finally relaxing at home when I remembered that I had forgotten to buy laundry detergent and a basket. I am in desperate need to do laundry if I want to get out of the house tomorrow. But here is my problem, I have made myself comfortable at home. Ladies, you probably know what I am talking about. I took off my bra. The girls are hanging loose and I am sitting in front of the tv checking my facebook. Now I need to go to the supermarket which on a normal day would mean putting the bra back on. The problem is ... I don't want to. Y'all need to get the picture very clear. It has been a long day. I woke up this morning tired and a bit anxious as I was flying back to St. Maarten. When I got there and realized that after paying airport tax I have 1 USD left in my wallet I went to the bank and waited for 30 minutes to get some cash. In this time I had finally managed to cool down a bit as it was boiling hot. My shirt was drenched and I haven...

Friday morning I woke up with a smile as this was the day I was going to be registered and I could just relax and enjoy my few days of holiday. I packed my things, filled out the form, double and triple checked that all was accounted for and everythign was signed and stamped by all who had to sign. After 90 inutes of waiting in which I was told that I nearly started a mutiny as I bypassed people standing in line since 7 in the morning, it was my turn at the small window in the back of the building. Honestly, I didn't know I thouhgt the line was for something else so I just walked in and stood in front of the window. I handed over my papers with a smile as I was really proud that I had finished everything. The guy turns to me and aks me for my moving notice. I said: what? He said your moving notice. I said I don't have one and I wouldn't know if I asked the good people in London for something like that if they would laugh at me or just shake their heads. He said but you are ...

Word to the wise: Don't ever ever squeeze my hand like you are kneading dough. It is NOT sexually arousing in any way, shape, or form. Poor hand.

It was 8.20 in the morning when I walked into the Census Office today. My orders were to be there between 8 and 9 in the morning. I figured people drink tea or coffee in the morning, talk a bit, gossip a lot, and then turn on their computer. 8.20 is a good time to walk in. When I get there there is a long line curling around the building but I put my don't-mess-with-me face on and moved to the front. See I had a name. I had an actual person I needed to talk to which in my opinion puts me at the front. And sure I was directed to a personnel only door. Once I got to the right person I sat down relieved because all was going to be well in this world ...until she told me how nice it was for me to come by but they only handle registration cases on monday, wednesday, and friday so if I could be so kind to come back tomorrow. Dejected I go back to personnel, deliver my diplomas and go home. As I am ranting about my ex-landlord who is reluctant to pay back my deposit I get a call. "I ...

Back in college I used to say that I wanted a guy who could give me the 5 Bs. I would settle for 3 Bs but ideally the perfect man needed to have 5Bs. All of these actually started after we saw Tyson Beckford in his first TV commercial so I have a feeling I might be a bit biased. Big, Black, Bald, Beautiful, and Banked. No need to explain all of those. After awhile I grew up a bit and decided that this guy needed to have a character as well otherwise I can just stick him in a glass cupboard, put a spotlight on him and just look at him. But what would happen when I take him out and I want to play a bit? After careful considerations and long discussions I thought that this perfect man needed to wash my hair. I know you are all staring at the screen right now shocked, mouths hanging open and heads shaking but think about it, ladies. I know the men are never going to get this but keep reading in case you even need to do something nice for you lady. Just think about the intimacy of washing y...

I'll start of with an apology as this is going to be another one of those self-reflection posts. My date just left. His name is Carlos. He works the night shift at the front desk. He is not hot but not ugly either. An average looking kind of guy who does honest work. He paid for my drinks and my snack. He doesn't have a car and I believe he really likes me. He has to because he puts up with my bitchiness. I have been bitchy. I can't help myself. The guy is really trying but I keep cutting him off every time he tries something. He wants to sit next to me on the couch and I tell him to go sit in the armchair. He wants to go to the beach with me and I tell him that I am going by myself. He wants to dance with me I tell him he wishes he was so lucky. And still he wants to see me tomorrow and I am sitting here thinking of ways to avoid him. So why don't I like him. It is not because he doesn't have a car. He said he was saving to complete his house on Anguilla. He has no...

I usually have a pretty good idea of what I say and do. Sometimes there are circumstances that are out of my hands like old guys offering cokes, but usually I know. I can even admit that I am a bit of a control freak sometimes. So how did I end up with a date this Sunday? One minute I was talking to the night shift and apparently also weekend guy at the front desk and the next I am exchanging phone numbers and promising to keep Sunday evening free. For the life of me I can't recall what was said otherwise I would have told you word for word. I know it started out with what happened to your car and why I didn't let him help me carry the groceries and we covered where you are from and how boring it must be to have the night shift. That evolved into my promising to keep him company sometimes to prevent him from going crazy. It then turned into me not letting guys up to my room after nights out because then he definitely will go crazy. Next thing I know I said yes, I will keep Sund...

Another day, another story. I got up this morning at 4 (my inner clock is still messed up) after going to bed before 8 last night. I was settled in my new place, please check the view out on the balcony, and I was excited about getting my job letter, opening a bank account and getting my tax number. The lady at the Department of Finance told me to pick up the letter at 11 so promptly at 11.10 I was standing in front of the window. Let the day begin! Subway has been calling me for the last few days and I just have feeling that they might have the seafood salad over here. After 10 minutes of waiting, a lady comes to the window and I politely ask for my letter. She informs me that the letters are not ready yet as the head of the department who is supposed to sign them has left for a meeting and he will sign once he gets back. 30 minutes later ... no one knows where he is and in what meeting so it's best if they call me when he is back and the letter is signed. At this point my blood ...

Monday came and brought Earl, the hurricane. My first thought was if I was going to make it to St. Maarten or if I had to stay. Of course this actually translates into did I make the right decision or are the Gods that be trying to tell me something. On top of that I couldn't get in touch with anyone on the the island. But nothing really goes smoothly as y'all know so on Tuesday I got on the plane and after a brief but serious prayer I was ready. Now folks hold on tight because I am going to tell you in rapid fire way everything that happened to me since I set foot on St Maarten soil. My nice and sleek look turned into a windblown bird's nest 5 minutes after getting of the plane. The nice-looking car rental guy at Thrifty offered to wait on the shuttle bus with me until he saw that I wasn't alone. The Jamaican shuttle guy wanted to get me in his bus and I wanted to because he definitely had cuteness going for him. The dreadlocked guy had to do a double take and as a rew...